I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t miss you tonight. because, I do. I can’t lie and say that I so badly wish you’d spend time with me, you’d make an effort, you’d try and work things out, but I guess that’s too much to expect. I haven’t thought about you for a while, and I don’t know why my brain thought it necessary to do that today.

maybe, it’s because it’s raining and I wish you were here with me. not actually here, literally, but just for us to be together. even if it’s just to a small coffee shop to read together, or for us to be in our apartment with massive windows looking outward towards the city, watching the passerbys running around in the rain, consuming the earth with vibrant colours, running from the beauty of rain and not taking time to savour it, pay attention to it.

and that’s what we’ll do, as we lay in bed together, watching the rain, falling, while we occasionally interject our opinions about life, God, the world. with me buried in your chest, between your legs, and your chin gently resting on my head. your arms around me and your finger softly stroking my arm.

 

maybe, this is my way of telling you that I miss you, or maybe it’s what I see, no, wish, hope, and pray for, for our future. I want us, but I’m not sure if you do too. so, maybe I’ll hold my tongue, refrain from texting you or calling you. maybe, I’ll just hold my tongue and just listen to the rain on my own, even though

I wish you were here.

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