here’s the deal, I had a whole blog post planned to put up about me burning my hand and evaluating life. although it was a good blog post, it didn’t sit right with me to put it up and pour the contents of my soul and my mind onto the internet.
so, maybe that’s what being an adult is about. maybe, adulting is burning your hand and realising that you need to start looking after yourself, and giving yourself the same attention that you do with other people.
maybe adulting is leaving the house, being attacked by pollen once you step outside, and then coming back home barely being able to see. then, you realise you don’t want to do anything today so, you switch on the telly, tidy up, watch Grace and Frankie, on repeat, whilst making yourself a cup of tea and changing into jogging bottoms and an oversized jumper. plus, leaving your jewellery on, because jewellery is your make up, and it makes you feel at home and secure in yourself, more than anything else. or, maybe it’s your parents nagging you to get driving lessons and do many other things, when you really just don’t feel like it.
or, adulting might be realising that your 19th birthday is in a few weeks, and although you feel 18 going on 36, you want a Tamagotchi and stationery. because even though you’re an old soul, you’re still young at heart and sometimes realise that you need to embrace and love your inner child because, it’s that child that you need to nurture and give attention to in order for you to grow.
I don’t know, maybe this is adulting. maybe this is life, and if anything I’ve realised how much I have grown in the past few weeks. I’ve wanted to sit and not do anything for most days, but I got up and did it, because it’s better than not showing up for myself and my people. that although putting people first is great, I’ve neglected myself in the process and maybe it’s time to stop being comfortable and to start facing my fears, head on. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it’s been to just get up and go, and be. because all life is all we are, and I’ve learnt the importance of showing up, and learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable.
and now? I’m still watching Grace and Frankie whilst writing this, and I’m about to make a second cup of tea, because I’m exhausted, but I’m doing okay. I’m more than okay – I’m good. and as one of my favourite bands, edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros, says:
celebrate, life is hard. all life is all we are.