I felt the need to box myself up.
I didn’t know how to fit myself into my own idea of who I was, I wanted to shrink myself to comfortably, and neatly fit into the boxes that others had laid out for me. I didn’t want to be too big, neither did I want to be too small. but, many a times I never felt ‘just right’. it was either one or the other, and I just couldn’t fit into other people’s boxes. I couldn’t hold the weight they placed in their boxes,
but I did.
I did, because I needed to help other people carry their weight, so I let them place parts of themselves in my box, and somehow, it never overflowed. it never overflowed, but it started to break, and it’s taken a while to repair my box. I don’t know whether to use duck tape, sellotape, or the tape that says ‘FRAGILE’ on it. or maybe, I need some glue, or probably just a new box. I’m not really sure where to start, or if I’m ready to start, but I’ve got to start.
because, the less I use my box and the longer I remain stationary, the more I shrink, and become less of myself.
I want to be more. I want to be too much. I don’t want to fit myself into people’s boxes anymore. I want to determine the size of my own box and actually be proud of it, and know that I worked my ass off to make it not only intelligent, but beautiful, free, strong, kind and so much more. I want to fit into my own box and not anybody else’s. I want to be my own box, and nobody else’s.
I don’t need to use tape to fix my box, I need to start unpacking it.