I am a mother at heart. I thought that this yearning and craving within me to take care of others was a problem, and it was something to be suppressed and looked over. it’s not a problem, it’s a gift. I am a mother at heart, and I long to comfort and nurture the hearts of the hurt and the loved. my gifts reflect who I am, I have the gift of being a mother. a mother to my family, a mother to my friends, a mother to strangers. I think the use of the word mother is reflected in birthing a child, and nurturing that child. it’s what’s expected from a mum. but, some of us may not have the privilege of such a thing, or it may just not be time yet. the latter is true for me, but my gifts reflect the nature of who I am, and who I will be. I thought my gentle, empathetic and fragile nature was a thing to be hidden, but it’s my strength, and that’s ok. it’s how I’ve been made, and that’s ok.
I feel motherhood deep within me over coffee with friends, when they spill out their worries, dreams and desires of their heart, over the drug that makes the muscle in our chest beat faster and fill with warmth. I feel it a 3am over the phone with a friend that can’t seem to see the way in life anymore, I feel it as give them the words that I can, so dearly wishing that I could be there to comfort them in their sorrows.
I am a mother at heart, and I yearn for companionship, I yearn to have my people, to nurture them, love them and see them off accomplishing big things. the smile that comes across my face when someone talks about them, and all I can think and say is “that’s my person. that’s my person, and I love them so much.” I am a mother at heart, and I thought that my ability to love deeply, fully and without hesitation was a fault. I thought that there was something wrong with me, because it was never reciprocated back in as much depth. I am a mother at heart, because like coffee, I bring people together. I come in different strengths, and tastes but that doesn’t wither me down into nothing. I am a mother at heart, because I can love, I love and I feel too much and too deeply, and that’s ok. and someday, I’ll be able to give the same love to my children, I can be the mother that they and my husband will need and want.
I am mother at heart, and that’s ok.