I’m here. I’m here with you through the pain and the hurt. I understand what it feels like to be an outcast in this world. when you try your best to love others and it gets thrown back in your face. I understand when the pain gets too much and you have nowhere to hide, no one to go to, no one to let all the hurt out to, because it’s too much for you, let alone them.
I get that you don’t want to be a burden on others, but you’ve got to let them in because they care. there are people that genuinely care about you, and love you. and though you must allow them to enter into your sacred home, you must also give yourself space to access your own private room, your comfort place.
you’ve got to give yourself some time to be gentle with your design, with your mind, your heart and your soul. you can’t afford to carry on with the same damaging and destructive behaviour that you allow yourself to endure. you need to be open and merciful with yourself, especially when others are not or when you don’t feel like it.
I know. I know it’s hard and it’s messy and it’s difficult and you may, like me, spend two years crying at least once a day every week, letting the pain and the emotions pass through as they are; or like another I know, spend time doing the things you love, spend time finding yourself in the old and the new; pouring yourself into every bit of life that you encounter. you’ve got to let yourself feel your emotions. you can’t keep escaping with things that will never satisfy the aching and the longing that is going on within your heart. take time, give yourself time to heal. give yourself time to feel; and love and be there for yourself when others won’t be there.
be vulnerable with yourself.
it’s a process, it takes time. it takes a lot of love that you may not want to give, that you’re tired of giving but, when you’re vulnerable with others, you give space for you to be vulnerable with the person within you that thought that they couldn’t give anymore love. keep giving, keep loving because it’s a necessity, it’s needed. your life is important and in those places that you’re hurting, take time to give yourself inner surgery; take the needle and start sewing back the parts that have been ripped off, the parts that are broken and bruised the parts that, not only need sewing, but also need bandages and arms wrapped around them; immersing them in a hug that takes away your breath because all the words that need to be said are within that person’s arms. keep mending your pain, keep letting others mend it. guard your heart, but let others in. let people love you, let yourself love people. let yourself love you.
it’s ok, it’ll be ok in the end.
I’m here holding your hand through it all, I’m here and I love you, and I want you to see yourself through my eyes; to see the person that others see because there is so much beauty and strength within you, and you need to keep pressing forward and giving space for your growth.
friend, be vulnerable with yourself. it’s important, it’s needed, it matters. but, take your time getting up, take your time getting out of bed and I’ll be right here helping you up, waiting for you to take those steps eventually.
it’s going to be ok. I’m here with you.