I spent a lot of time allowing people to put me second or last. letting them allow me to regard myself as not being enough or being too much; 

and I get it. I know I’m a hard person to love but, that doesn’t mean that I don’t deserve for someone to put me first. I’ve spent a lot of time healing from the damaging words and actions of others that resulted in my self hate and pain; and within finding myself I felt a hand nudge me and reach out to me, holding me up and helping me sift through the mess. I found Him there in the mess, I found my first love.

I want to be a better person because of Him, I want to love and see myself the way He loves and sees me; because everyday He puts me first, everyday He pursues me and dances over me no matter how I feel about myself.

I don’t want to settle for a lesser self. I always told myself sometime soon rather than telling myself, no now, and letting my words and actions manifest and become living testimonies in my life. letting the way I take this walk be a hope and encouragement to others and myself.

I don’t want to settle anymore, I’m better than that. I am worth loving and I am worth pursuing, and if nobody else is going to do that for me – I’m going to do it for myself.


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