I’ve been a midst this season’s sadness and I have felt like every single step I take, or don’t take, the water just keeps rising and I just keep drowning with every single breath I struggle to take. human interactions are harder than they used to be, loving myself enough to even clean my temple is harder than it used to be. I don’t think I’ve truly laughed or smiled in a long while and I can no longer tell if it’s because my heart is breaking or because I feel alone or because of this new environment I find myself in.
it’s as if I can feel the devil using this to his advantage, dragging me by my feet and flinging me around, spinning and spinning and spinning as if this is a never ending season. but, the devil is a liar and I woke up today before the alarm, I cleaned and cared for myself, I fed myself how I should be feeding myself. I’ve chosen to use this season to my advantage no matter how hard things get, because I am a fighter and I am a lover and the only thing I can do right now is love this person deeper and fight for her even more than I ever could.
my growth hasn’t stopped, it’s just that the season has changed.