the thing is that lately, I’ve been trying to fit my mental and physical suffering into a box. I tell myself that this is just a period of time in my life that will be over soon if I just store it up nicely in a little corner and only attend to it when it feels convenient to me. and, the boxes stayed neatly stored for a while, they stayed there for a long while but,
all I’ve learnt is that these boxes don’t just open themselves up, but rather they explode and leave a mess all over the floor which seems easy to clean at first but you don’t really know where to start cleaning up from. you don’t know how, and you don’t understand why things have become like this, and why you let it become this way.
the boxes don’t, and won’t clean themselves up, because they are boxes and they aren’t living and breathing like you are. I had it set in my mind where I was going to go with this, but life isn’t like that, I again remind myself. boxes, they don’t clean themselves up and you’ve got to learn how to do that with baby steps, small tiny ones that don’t overwhelm you. baby steps are the key to growing and I’m learning one minuscule baby step at a time that cleaning up is never going to be easy, and sometimes I find comfort in the mess because it draws me closer to those around me, those I never thought even cared.
friend, please take comfort in the mess, take comfort and still learn how to clean up one baby step at a time, because this way, you learn that this is life sometimes and from those baby steps you realise that they become adult steps overtime and you’ll look back and see how much you’ve grown. but, these things take time, so for now, I’m just going to tell you that things will be okay & “darling, a beautiful thing is never perfect.”