I woke up this morning in sickness, and the morning before my heart felt so heavy with pain and sadness,

because I had deemed myself unworthy of receiving love from people on this earth. unworthy because You have placed it in my heart for years, that I am not like others, I am not of this world.

and, I have fought & I’ve battled with this fact. the fact that my lonely heart cries out for somebody who understands me; who wants me in the pits of my depressive states and in the joy of rejoicing over the mundane things that this life brings. my heart has felt heavy for a while now, and it has only been in realising that with You,

all things work out for good. despite my fears and doubts, despite the fear I have of not being loved or good enough for people in this world – You have called me good.

it’s then, only then, that this heart realises that only one thing in this life matters. it’s only You, because when the eyes of my heart are focused on You everything else becomes irrelevant, it all doesn’t matter.

because, it’s all for You and I can’t see why anything else matters in the end. it’s all for You.

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